你的第一篇学术论文从投递到接收用了多久？

是一帆风顺，投了就有？

还是磕磕绊绊，来回修改？

对于绝大部分准科研狗们来说，Reviewers简直就是拦在SCI大道上的斯芬克斯怪兽，就是游弋在顶刊顶会之海上的美杜莎女王。

但科研萌新们终归有一天会进化成科（guan）研（shui）大神。当“屠龙的少年”变成了审稿的“恶龙”，你还能心安理得的看待自己当初灌水的第一篇“大作”吗？

“当我写完二十多页的审稿意见，我感觉终于和当初桀骜不驯的自己完成了和解……”

那些堪称毒舌的审稿意见

This paper is desperate. Please reject it completely and then block the author's email ID so they can't use the online system in future.

（这篇论文简直令人窒息！请立即彻底拒稿并封禁他的邮箱，以免这家伙儿日后还来投稿）

The subject of the study is interesting but the results are not really novel. The authors merely used somewhat bigger guns than previous studies and generated nothing but more smoke.

（主题有趣但结论没啥新颖的，作者大概属于扛了把更唬人的大枪，然后“砰”的一声巨响，就冒了些烟）

I do not understand why the co-authors of this manuscript have allowed their names to be in the author list.

（我简直不能理解，为啥这些协作者们愿意出现在这篇文章的作者名单上）

Not sure what a 'water leg' is, and I suspect most readers aren't either.

（搞不懂“水腿”是个啥玩意儿，而且我高度怀疑大部分读者都搞不懂）

The Abstract describes results that I could not find in the Results section.

（摘要里描述了一堆我在结论部分里找不到的结论）

The biggest problem with this manuscript, which has nearly sucked the will to live out of me, is the terrible writing style.

（这篇稿件的写作糟糕透顶，再多看两眼我可能会丧失活下去的勇气）

Ken, I would suggest that EM is setting up a fund that pays for the red wine reviewers may need to digest manuscripts like this one.

（老铁，我建议给审稿人设一个红酒专项基金，不然咱实在是消化不了这种“大作”）

I am generally very happy to provide extensive suggestions and comments on manuscripts, but this submission was an absolute waste of my time.

（其实我还挺乐意给人家提建设性意见的，但是这一篇简直就是在浪费俺的生命）

The writing and data presentation are so bad that I had to leave work and go home early and then spend time to wonder what life is about.

（这篇文章的写作水平和数据差到我必须早点回家，整理一下思绪，思考一下人生）

I am afraid that I might have produced some sentences for the '2008 Referees' Quotes'.（我好慌，感觉自己要给2008年度的审稿人语录留下点什么了）

Did you have seizure while writing this sentence? Because I fell like I had one while reading it.

（大哥你写这篇文章的时候是癫痫犯了吗？反正我读的时候感觉自己是要犯了）

I have rarely a more blown-up and annoy paper in the last couple of years than this hot-air balloon manuscript.

（我已经好几年没读过这种像蔫儿屁一样烦人的文章了）

It's hard for me to understand why it takes 5 authors to perform and describe one simple experiment.

（我实在是难以理解为啥需要五个作者一起来阐述这么个简单的问题）

The paper could be considered for acceptance given a rewrite of the paper and change in the title and abstract.

（如果作者考虑重写这篇文章的标题、摘要、主体的话，那么我还能考虑一下是否接收）

The peaceful atmosphere between Christmas and New Year was transiently disrupted by reading this manuscript.

（圣诞节和新年之间宁静祥和的气氛都被丫这篇文章破坏了）

其实，正是看到这些审稿人们的“毒舌”评论，我们才愈加的确定邮箱那头的他们也是和你我一样的教授、博士，有着一样普通人的喜怒好恶。灌水没有价值的文章他们当然烦不胜烦，但真正凝结了他人心血的文字，他们肯定也会慎之又慎的审查。

所以，如果再出现论文投了之后一直没有收到审稿意见，不要慌，先发个朋友圈标记一下。

审稿人可能只是看的比较仔细，没准二十四年之后，你的文章突然就被接收发表了呢？

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